Mike and Rex walked into the “The Famous Bonanza Casino,” where they had met Baxter in their previous adventure.
“So what do we hope to accomplish here?”
“W3 couLd Pick uP 50me m0r3 8ling!
Mike reconciled himself to sitting around and watching Rex play blackjack for a few hours. At least it would pay for a fair amount of Starbucks.
But later on four, sinister daddy long legs made an appearance at the casino. Immediately, most of the clientele cleared the table that Mike and Rex were sitting at.
“Well, who do we have there but the agents responsible for arresting poor Webster and keeping Blunc-hee and him apart. So sad.”
The lead Spydhar introduced himself. “I am Mr. Blackweb. Perhaps we could play for more interesting terms?”
“And what might those be?”
“Well, money is so useless for us inter-dimensional travelers, we propose to play for something more real...like blood.”
“Now how did I know you were going to say that? But what do you have that we would want?”
“Why, information, Mr. Smith! What would you pay to find out how many Spydhars are on Earth right now? How about the real plan the Spydhars have for Earth?”
“Why don’t we just buy whatever you have to offer - our system of blood banks should be more than adequate to...”
“We don’t just want pre-packaged blood, though I have to admit a good vintage of O- is really hard to beat, no. We are hunters Mr. Smith. If we play, it is for a human’s life against something we have to offer.”
“Are all spiders this crazy?”
“It’s Spydhar, not spider! How many times do we have to go through this?!”
“If I’m going to play for my life, I think the wager should be more valuable. How about: how to defeat the Spydhars?”
“Hssssss! Are you sure you don’t want to know what my people are really planning for your world?”
“That’s easy: you want to turn the place into a Taco Bell.”
“Arrrgh! How did you know?”
“You’re kidding right? I mean, even Rex figured that out.”
“DuD3! H0w Much more 0bvi0us do You WaNt to get?”
“Hsssss!”
The four Spydhars huddled for a second.
“Hsssss! Very well, who-nan, if you win we will share the secret of how to defeat the Spydhar empire. If we win, then it means...” the Spydhar paused for dramatic effect. “...your life!”
* * *
A large and fearful crowd had drawn up around the table when the news about the deadly wager had spread. It only took a few minutes before they started taking bets.
Much to Mike’s chagrin, the odds were against him.
“One round of blackjack then, huge-glands?”
“Human. It’s pronounced Hu-man.”
“Roman?”
“No that’s what came before Italy.”
“Hsssss.”
Both Spydhar and human were dealt a card face-down, then one face up. Mike had a five, the Spydhar, a black jack.
“I shall stand, hssssss.”
“Hit me.”
The Spydhar smacked Mike with a forelimb.
“Sorry, an old joke but a good one, yes? Hssssss.”
Mike was dealt an 8.
“Busted!” crowed the daddy long-legs and began dancing gleefully.
“Not necessarily!” Mike said nervously.
One of the other Spydhars nudged Blackweb and whispered something to him. Blackweb gave a “Hssssss!” but sat down.
“And now, who-nan?”
“It’s...oh, never mind.” Mike peered at his hidden card, a two, gulped nervously and consulted his Puppeteer.
Well, what do you think?
Don’t you already have 21?
What? That’s only 15!
The Puppeteer seemed to be counting.
Never mind.
“Hit...” Mike looked at the Spydhar’s raised forelimb.
“I mean, I’ll take another card.”
Blackweb lowered his leg disappointedly.
The dealer looked over at Mike.
“Are you sure?”
“Just give me the damn card!”
The dealer flipped over a card to Mike. A six.
“Ha! 21!”
The spydhar looked despondent.
“Best out of three?”
“No way! How do we defeat the Spydhars?”
“Oh, just jam all the dimensional portal thingies.”
“But that’s impossible!”
The Spydhar looked taken aback.
“It is?!”
“Are you trying to tell me that I just bet my life for a useless piece of information?”
Blackweb shifted uneasily.
“Well, I think it’s pretty useful.”
* * *
Walking away from the casino Rex turned to Mike.
“DUde! I tHougHt You pl@y3d w3LL.”
“Thanks Rex.”
They continued a little further in silence.
“caN we g0 7o 7h3 ih0p?”
Mike sighed.
* * *
The manager took one look at Rex, and then tried to take down the “All you can eat crispy chicken strips” sign, but the Raptor poked him in the chest with a claw.
“n0 w@y m@n!”
“This sucks,” but he led them to a table all the same. Granted, it was near the restroom but still.
“Don’t suppose you want the pancakes?” the waitress asked without any real hope. Rex just grinned.
“I’ll have the waffles!” Mike said to her retreating back.
Rex had just started on round 2 when Mike heard screeching tires from out front...followed by a crash.
“That must be Tom.”
Alice came bustling in.
“Mike, I think there’s something wrong with Tom. Maybe that Spydhar poisoned him!”
Tom strolled in, slowly, a faint grin on his face.
“Helloooo Mike, Rex.”
Even Rex paused in his assault on his dinner.
“duD3! He's cre3PinG me oU7!”
“Are you OK Tom?” Mike asked with real concern.
“Oh I’m fine...everything is fine.”
Tom smiled.
“Great. I almost ended up as a Spydhar-burger, Alice is, well, Alice, Tom is acting creepy and Rex...at least he got his chicken nugget fix for a while.”
“You did? That’s...wonderful.”
Rex looked at Tom nervously and gulped the last of his chicken strips.
“At least we can interrogate that Spydhar that tried to kill me.”
Alice suddenly found her place setting incredibly interesting.
“You did take his dimensional travel thingie...didn’t you?”
Alice sneezed.
“Ah no-hooo!”
Mike rubbed his forehead. Rex burped.
* * *
“What now?” Tom asked when they got back to the office.
“We wait for a break in the case,” Mike announced and then slumped in front of his computer.
“Like what?” Tom persisted.
“Like maybe we could ask Blunc-hee some questions.”
“Fortunately, she’s not here.”
“Oh, Tommmmeeee!”
The previously mentioned black widow made a dramatic entrance into the shared office, gesturing delicately with a forelimb.
“hi 8lUnC-sHe!” Rex said waving.
The black widow haughtily ignored the raptor, then glanced about quickly, looking for Tom.
“Where’d he go? He was there just a second ago...”
“h3'$ hiding b3HinD hi$ de$K.” Rex supplied helpfully.
“Dammit, Rex!”
“0h, 50rry. he'$ n0t hidiNg b3HInd hi$ d3$K!”
“Not this again,” moaned Alice as Spydhar chased human around the desk.
Panting, Tom managed to get the desk between himself and Blunc-hee.
“I have an octogun and I’m not afraid to use it!” Tom looked down at his wrist and the weird, octopus-like thing that was an octogun. “Hey! Where’d my watch go?” The critter stared back at him innocently.
“Alright, so I am afraid to use it, but it’s being eaten or having to deal with this...thing, I’ll take my chances with the thing ... I think.”
Alice, who was reading a magazine looked over the top of it and asked “What is it that you see in him anyways? I mean, why not Rex?”
Blanc-hee paused in her pursuit long enough to give a withering look at Rex. “He doesn’t smell right!” Rex looked relieved.
“That’s it!” Mike leaping to his feet.
“Of for the love of...” Alice managed before Mike ran out of the office, flapping is hands and screaming “Eureka!”
“If he gets shot, it’s his problem!” Alice went back to reading her magazine.
“8u7 DuD3! y0u Wer3 7h3 0n3 7h@t let W38$73r g37 @W@y!”
Alice slapped down the magazine and glared at Rex. “Just remember I have an octogun and you don’t!” She glared at Rex for a moment and then relented somewhat. “Oh I supposed you’re right...”
Alice got up and marched out the door. Rex watched Blanc-hee and Tom for a bit, got bored, and followed Alice.
* * *
“Eureka! Eureka! I have found it!”
People on the street turned to look at the strange man running down the street waving his arms. Sure enough there was a nefarious spydhar waiting in the shadows.
Ziiip! “Missed!” Ziiip! “Missed!” Ziiip! “Missed!”
Mike looked around and noticed the other pedestrians who had been webbed by Webster’s gun.
“Can’t you guys spin webs naturally or something? What do you need a gun for?”
“I’m a tarantula – we don’t spin webs.”
“A spider that doesn’t spin webs, that’s ridiculous!”
“Rub it in, why don’t you? And it’s Spydhars!”
“Besides, the one you want is Tom, not me!”
“Oh, sorry. All you who-nans look the same to me. What were you jumping up and down about?”
“I think I have a solution to the whole Spydhar problem.”
“And what’s that? Jam all the dimensional travel doodads at the same time?”
“Haven’t you been following along? That won’t work!”
“It won’t?” Webster looked crestfallen.
“No, I gotta check with someone to see if my idea is doable.” Mike said as the rest of the team came around the corner.
With a bit of work, the four of them managed to pile into Tom’s car, which doubled as a space shuttle. They flew to the Puppeteer base where they were welcomed at the airlock by Gideon.
“Well, this is an unexpected surprise.”
“How long have you known about the solution to the Spydhar problem?” Mike asked him point blank.
“You pronounced it right!” Mike looked pleased with himself. Alice nudged him impatiently.
“So the solution: how long have you known?”
“What are you talking about there is no solution to the Spydhar problem --- the whole Earth is going to become a giant McDonalds for the Spydhars.”
“Actually I prefer burger king.”
“Alright a great big Burger King.”
“Let’s see the big blob, I think we may have some options after all.”
Chapter 3 Chapter 5
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