Puppet: Agent Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Mike, Alice, Tom and Rex disembarked from the shuttle to the Puppeteer asteroid ship. As
usual, Gideon was there to meet them. Gideon looked grim.

“Something the matter, Gideon?”

“You’ll see,” he said ominously.

Gideon led them to the Elder’s room. As normal, Mike felt queasy in the zero gravity.

“You wanted to see us?”

“Yes” replied the Elder.

The silence stretched out.

“Want to tell us what’s got you so upset?”

“Your friend, Baxter...”

“He’s not my friend!”

“...your would-be friend, Baxter, is cooking up a new version of the plague.”

“What? How do you know that?”

“I’ve had my feelers on this guy for a while. You see, his wife died in the first plague. He
blames the Puppeteers for the whole thing.”

“When one of his people died suspiciously in an industrial accident, I bribed the coroner. He got
me a tissue sample. It contains a very nasty virus.”

The four of them looked at each other.

“Dude! Wh@t's a viRUs?” asked Rex.

“Shut up.”

“w3@k.”

“Mike,” cut in the Elder, “we’ve adapted to the original virus that your people created. The new
virus has to be much more deadly to be effective against the current generation of Puppeteers.
Last time you got away with less than one percent casualties. With this bug, you’re looking at
more than one hundred million people dead in the first wave. And then the virus may mutate
into something really nasty.”

“We have to stop this guy!”

“So why don’t you notify the PDA and have them round up Baxter and his men?”

“Puppeteers currently enjoy a rather precarious situation in human politics: some people would
like to see us wiped off the face of the earth, even if it takes a few hundred million people. PD is
in no way immune to such public opinion. We feel that, while alerting them to the threat,
pursuing a secondary investigation would be...prudent.”

“So you want us to investigate the situation? That might work if not for the fact that only Tom
here is really trained in any sort of secret agent stuff, and my guess is that he’s more of an
analyst type then a James Bond type.”

“Aha! But that’s where the real genius of my plan shines through: I’ll act as Tom’s guide for the
operation, and my superior knowledge and skill gleaned from centuries of cloak and dagger
experience will enhance his laughably inadequate skills to the point where he’s the first
man/Puppeteer super agent!

Mike crossed his arms. “You? A secret agent? What are you going to call yourself - James
Blob?”

“You know...I like the way that rolls off the tongue...er...vacuole. So, what do you say, Tom?”

“Not a chance!”

Even Rex seemed surprised.

“8u7 wha7 @b0u7 s@vinG @lL 7Hose p3oPle?”

“I’m a very good agent without a blob, thank you very much!”

“Could I or Alice do it?” Mike asked.

“The process would work best with someone who is already familiar with the proper
procedures.”

The group considered this.

“There are some other benefits of hosting, you know...” the Elder said slyly.

“Like what?” Tom asked incredulously.

“Like you become more attractive to the opposite sex.”

“Really?” Tom looked a little more interested.

“That’s never worked for me!” Mike said glancing at Alice, who stuck out her tongue at him.

It’s because you’re such a putz, Mike’s Puppeteer informed him helpfully.

I think it’s because you’re such a drip, Mike shot back.

“Just look these statistics!” The Elder flashed some graphics across the screen at lightning
speed. “And as part of your mission you’ll get all kinds of nifty gadgets and devices!”

“Like what?”

“Like this x-ray laser flashlight.” Gideon took out a pocket flashlight and illuminated them with
a blue light. “You just shine it on something and zap!”

The three humans tried to duck out of the beam.

“133t!” shouted Rex.

“Oops, this is just a regular flashlight.”

“w33k.”

Tom considered this.

“Do I get a snazzy car?”

“Boy, do you ever!”

With a certain amount of trepidation, Tom allowed the Elder to form a new Puppeteer and attach
to his back. As he put his shirt back on he said “So when does the control start?”

We don’t control people so much as guide them.

Is that you talking in my head?

Yes, I’m using your nervous system to simulate speech. Pretty cool, isn’t it?

I want to try something out...

Don’t try it on Alice!!!

A moment later, Tom was nursing a slapped face.

At least this time, Mike got to snicker at Tom instead the other way around.

“Maybe we should check out those toys you mentioned before.”

“Before we go looking at gadgets we really need to talk.” Mike stated.

“About what?” the Elder responded.

“The whole Leet invasion. We need to figure out what to do about it.”

“But I thought that bringing back Alice had resolved that issue.”

“What do you mean by that?!” Alice glared at Mike.

“I’ll explain later.” To the Elder: “Look, even if Tom, Alice and I manage to keep our mouths
shut about the whole thing, there’s no way that the Leet won’t let something slip.”

“D00D!”

“Yeah, well, it might be better to let that happen than to go around telling people that the Leet
invasion was all because of the Puppeteers.”

“d00d! You guy$ lIed t0 u5 @80u7 7he chalLeng3?”

“Actually it was the Puppeteers that created the challenge for us – we didn’t want the war.”

Rex turned his reptilian stare on the Elder.

“D00D! 7hat's W3@K!”

“Hey, you got chicken nuggets and foosball out of it.”

Rex considered this for a moment.

“ok, Y0u g0t a p0int.”

“Look, people,” said Tom “the point is, eventually someone will find out about the cause of the
invasion. Some are already suspicious that the Puppeteers were ready with the battle suits just
when we needed them. Don’t you think it would be better for them to learn about it first hand?”

“No. I’d prefer to keep it under wraps and hope for the best.”

Dammit! What do you think I should do?

I was afraid you were going to ask me that. I can’t tell you what to do.

But the Elder seems to have a pretty strong opinion!

That’s because you are asking him on behalf of Puppeteer kind. You are asking me directly
what I think you should do. I can’t tell you that. I can help you by telling you what I think the
repercussions will be, but the final decision needs to be yours.

This is a hell of a time to go all Prime Directive on me!

At the end of the day we are guides, not controllers.

Wonderful.

* * *

Gideon did not seem happy to be functioning as “Q Division” for “His Blobbieness’s Secret
Service,” but he put up with it stoically.

“OK, here’s the real x-ray laser flashlight, so be careful with it!” Gideon said, handing over a
flashlight.

“Here’s a bioweapon that acts as a stun gun.” Gideon led them over to a fish tank. Several
tentacular critters moved about inside. “Put your hand in the tank,” Gideon ordered.

“In there?” protested Tom.

It’s perfectly safe. The one that likes you the most will latch onto your arm, and you can fire it
through me. All very accurate, very efficient and non-lethal (most of the time).

Tom gingerly stuck his hand in the tank.

What do you mean ‘most of the time?’

Well, you know, if things go pear shaped, it’s always good to have a super weapon on your side.

Hey! One of those damn things bit me!

Ah you found one that like you!

I thought you meant liked me as ‘wanted to work with me,’ not as in wants to *eat* me!

It’s just a love nip.

Tom took his hand out of the tank. Something that looked like a flattened octopus was on his
forearm. It had eyes. The eye ridges waggled at him.

“Uhh..how do we know that it works?”

“Just step over here into the makeshift firing range...that used to be my room.” Gideon said
icily.

I tell you, nothing but complaints out of him. Oooh, you commandeered my room. Oooh, you
want to give the humans bioweapons. Oooh, you’re cheating at Trivial Pursuit.

You cheat at Trivial Pursuit?

And now you’re taking his side!

The group stepped into the range. It still had a bed and a bureau to one side. There was a
target taped to the wall.

“OK, shoot the target.”

“Gotcha.”

“But be careful – don’t hit my clothes!”

“Right.”

“And use the minimum setting.”

“Alright already!”

Tom raised his arm. A bolt of blue energy shot from the critter on his arm and obliterated the
bureau. Charred socks and underwear rained down on them.

“My clothes!” screamed Gideon.

Oh sorry! My bad...misfire!

“You did that on purpose!”

“I did not! It was the Elder!”

“That makes more sense.” Gideon said narrowing his eyes.

“Should he try again?” Mike asked.

“Yeah, he can still take out the bed.” Alice observed.

Gideon put his hands over his face.

“OK, try again, but this time concentrate!”

Tom sighed and raised his arm again. Another, smaller blue bolt issued from the critter and
obliterated the target.

“I think I’m getting the hang of this!” Tom enthused.

“While I still have some place to sleep, we’ll call that done.” Gideon announced.

“Can i g3t oNe?!” Rex asked eagerly.

“You need a Puppeteer to operate it,” Gideon told him.

“W3@k.”

Mike and Alice were armed in due course, though Alice complained that hers seemed to be
slobbering on her arm.

“How can you tell? I mean they’re pretty slimy,” Mike observed.

“Don’t remind me!”

“So where is the snazzy car?”

Gideon pressed a button and a wall slid away to reveal a 1960’s Aston Martin.

“DuD3! i7'5 tHe Car Fr0M J@M3$ b0ND!” Rex was jumping up and down.

“It’s a lot faster than it looks, and it’s got all kind of whizz-bang spy gadgets.”

“Like what?”

Rex ran over to the car, hopped into the driver’s seat, and fiddled with a random control on the
dashboard. Gideon had enough time to scream “Take cover” before twin machine guns sprouted
from the headlights and fired.

“Stop that!” Mike yelled from behind an overturned desk.

Looking downcast, Rex got back out of the car.

Getting cautiously back to his feet Gideon explained: “it also has anti-gravity. It can function as
a shuttle.”

“Really?”

“It’s how you’re getting back home.”

With some trepidation, Tom, Mike, Alice and Rex got into the car. Rex managed to grab the
shotgun seat this time.

“Don’t touch anything!”

A yellow hazard light started flashing and Gideon fled the room.

One of the walls slid away to reveal Earth from orbit. The car was sucked out into space.

“What did he mean about how the life support systems probably work?” Alice asked nervously.